Nausea >.>

Darn. I'm not feeling any better at all. I'm actually supposed to be having my rest right now, actually. Yet, here I am, in front of the computer, perhaps even having a staring contest with it, thinking of the different arguments I can actually bash my opponents with in the upcoming Debate Tournament on November 17, 2009. And guess what day it is? November 15. Great isn't it? I'm really gonna get it. And to think that I was actually telling myself just few days ago that I would be serious about this debate thingy. Well. Actually, I am. But, I kind of lost heart when I saw how much I still have to go, yet the end is drawing near. :| This is shit.

The real catch here is, actually, I am so damn pressured right now. I don't even know what to do, or what to say anymore. All I know is that once I fail this debate thingy, it sure is gonna be hell for the three of us. I could already imagine the eyes of my classmates. Those eyes of disappointment and regret in their decisions of having us as their representative. I just don't want that to happen. I really need to make this work. But how can I? How can I? A simple girl who's already having nervous breakdowns for simply a tune up. Take note, a tune up. Not yet the real thing.

I'd punch anyone right now who'll say my problem is just a piece of cake. First of all, it's not. VERY not. Why? Because I really need to win this thing, because if I don't, first, all our grades will be affected, second, if my grades were affected, and I will not be able to regain my position as rank 1 in class, then third, I might not be able to study in my dream school for college. THAT my friend, is my situation right now. I simply have no choice but to do this, or else, every dream I harbored since I was little would disappear into thin air, like they were never even made. It saddens me to think of this, and the conditions that have been presented to me, but what can I do? I am merely a girl who is dependent on her parents in every aspect of like. Well, not emotionally maybe, and spiritually, of course, but the rest? It's all theirs. I can't even take a hold of my life.

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